Thursday, August 21, 2008

smoothie addict: coke in a blender

Before you get pissed that i'm posting something without pictures of desserts that i've been lagging on making, let me JUST say this..

I just finished 5 days on smoothies and juices only, and shit, it really only made me realize how much I missed that sort of thing. The extra energy you save from not having to digest anything has really been coming in handy (leaving work at 1 am. has no longer become exhausting, though, I can't say it's solved anything in terms of my anger towards starbuck's underpaid slave labor). So the day I ended my non-solid business, I had the worst feeling in my stomach after eating a papaya salad for lunch... SHITTYYYY let me tell you. I was so fucking tired, that I considered sleeping off the food as gross as that sounds (I haven't done that shit since my teenage alcohol induced days).

I really REALLY want to go back on a smoothie fast again. Probably tomorrow?
This time, I'd like to go for 2 weeks.

Keep in mind, I'm sort of a fat ass with my smoothies... so my smoothies (though mostly green....okay...maybe at least 1/3 green) usually end up being at LEAST 48 oz. per smoothie..unless i'm making something more elaborate in terms of drinks... like maybe a chocolate lavender mint smoothie, or a cloverfield honey pina colada. MMM.

I'd like to go longer then 2 weeks, but one of two things is going to happen if I even TRY to do that:
1) my parents will think I have an eating disorder, and am thus trying to lose weight by doing this.
2) I'll go ape shit afterwards and nut binge (no pun intended...well, maybe just a little) and then get sick, swear off of nuts, and then go back into the fridge 2 hours later looking for brazils, get sick again, and then have my mom hovering over me "well, THIS is what you get! you screw your body up with this raw shit! you need meat on you! eat carnitas!" avoid to the inevitably, I'm going to only mention that i'll be juicing it up again, leaving out the small 2 week detail. 

SHIT. I just remembered, i'm going to san diego at the end of this month..

i'll have to make a few exceptions for some raw goodies if I run across them..but other then THAT, i'll try to keep my meals as "mono-meal" friendly as possible, so I, again, don't get sick and end up in the bathroom for..erm..hours on end.. 
not that you really needed to know that, but the same shit happens to you, i'm sure, whenever you eat something that's not agreeable with your stomach. (or maybe not, maybe it's just me)

best ever

I subscribed to their quarterly enews, and apparently i'll be getting a vegetarian times subscription out of it as well?
fuckin sweet!

I'm supposed to go wig shopping with my cousin in about 30 minutes... waiting on her lagging ass to call
wig shopping is uberly fun. everyone should do it at least once a month.

very therapeutic.

PS- after my smoothie kick, the desserts will be back. I PROMISE. I know you don't give a shit about the random shit that
goes down in my life sans raw.

PSS- jk. I hope not..that shit would suck... I'm more then desserts damn it!
PSSS- actually, my brother called me a nut magician for being able to do the things that I do with nuts
(not like that you perverts...he wouldn't know about those sorts of things..)


Thursday, August 14, 2008

Instant Gratification..

I love fat..

In fact, to gain and now maintain my weight, I'll eat anywhere from 1/4c. nuts - 1c. of nuts a day, along with coconut, avocados, etc etc.

but, with that being said..I'm getting REALLY burned out on them. Time for a break?
AH..I think so

After work, I made a fresh green juice.. celery, parsley, cucumber, spinach, chard, wheatgrass.
Sometimes I get so caught up making desserts that I forget about how awesome a cold, fresh 16oz. glass of green can taste.

So, tomorrow I'm going to do juicing and smoothies only, and then see how long I can ride it out after the day's over..
That being said, here's what i've been up to..

Went to Palm Dessert..AGAIN... to go swimming and walk around downtown and whatnot..

My brother went out of his way to buy me a kookie karma, which I felt bad for since I really do NOT like their stuff. Cashews gross me out. They always taste rancid to me for some reason.
Not only that, but the 'lemon fig' cookie (or, kookie) tasted nothing like lemon OR figs. It was almost like a slap in the face to the taste of a fresh fig or lemon to even compare the cookie to such a thing.

Actually, I wanted to talk about this.
I don't EVER really buy other raw snacks/prepared foods partially because I always find them very disappointing and more often WAY overpriced. ($8 for a brownie? really? REALLY?) Come on now, I make this shit all the time, I'm well aware of how much it costs to make these things, and it does NOT cost that much..
greedy bastards!

And then I stop and think to myself that I need to get my ass in gear and start getting my stuff into the mainstream..
Only because it genuinely bothers me that people out there are settling for shit. Sorry if that sounds mean, but it's true.


So I finally tried the chocolate fudge cake from Cru, since they now sell it in the market near my house..


I love chocolate. really. 
But when I can't get my fucking fork through the "cake"... yeah... it's no longer a "cake".
more like a massive chocolate bar.

The first bite was good, the second, alright, and after that I threw it away since it was making me nauseous. 

So far, the only prepared raw foods that I can say something nice about, would be Leaf's stuff. Not too expensive, not too nut heavy, and still pretty good. Actually, I bought their brownie last week on sale for $3 since I get too lazy to make my own stuff sometimes.. 

ALSO, got this baby for $2. SCOOOORE!

It tasted better then it looks.
Man, nothing beats fresh dragonfruit... except for maybe fresh celeste and king figs, and then maybe rambutan and mangosteen.. but yeah... after all those, dragon fruit OOOOOWNS.

Anywho, after my juicing/smoothie fling, I plan on making an opera amaretto cake..
so I guess doing greens for awhile will be another plus, since this'll give me time to draw out the design and structure of the cake.. get things 'ready' if you know what I mean ;]

well, iron chef is on, and I need to call work to make sure nobody hustled my ipod that I accidently left behind this morning. (I'm fully convinced that half the people I work with do NOT like me since i've openly stated that I am not a christian or catholic) Seriously, some of those bitches (yes, I can and WILL call them bitches) have hidden my shit way too many times 

"oops! sorry april! I thought you'd be able to find it!"

... underneath an espresso machine?

why the FUCK would I think look for my cell phone underneath an espresso machine when my stuff is in the complete opposite end of the building?!!

gah. enough complaining. I don't want to sound whiney. 



Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Making a name for yourself, a wedding like coconut cake, and chillin with Juliano

all up on the Dean's list at school. FUCK YEEEAH!

This week has been beyond bombay. Starbucks screwed me in hours "sorry April, you're only working 20 hours this week, and have 3 days off" 

oh NO, whatever will I do?!! I can't survive outside of Starbucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
not.. assholes

so anyways, I've had a bunch of time to do the things that I like to do in my spare time, i.e. making food, taking random trips, spending money on knick knacks, etc etc.
Last weekend I made a coconut cake that turned out like... a wedding cake?
Very confusing, but very very good.

See, when I was frosting it with dehydrated coconut flakes it just looked so... sad and plain.. so I gave it a facelift with some lavender and baby's breathe. AHH, so much better. Purple and white always compliment each other so nicely.

I wish I hadn't been so fucking lazy and bothered to take a picture of a slice so you could see the inside of it. Not that it was really anything incredibly special, just two layers with a coconut cream separating them, but you know... yeah

The last of the cake is being burned alive by the stomach acids of my mom and dad as I type this. Poor cake, oh well... C'EST LA VIE!

I think next week i'm going to make a strawberry shortcake... only because strawberries are ass-diculously cheap right now, and I try to go with seasonal things, instead of going out of my way to pay more for something that isn't even at the peak of it's season.

I've also been trying to do juice days. And by trying, I mean having juice for breakfast, and then eating nachos (raw, of course) for lunch, completely forgetting about the juicing until after the meal is being mauled inside my stomach. EHH, shit happens.

So, onto business more exciting then food digesting inside of me and my family, I had a consultation with a small business advisor today. He's a friend of my mom's who's originally from Trinidad, moved to washington and opened two nightclubs, then moved over here with his now wife. Very nice man. I think I shall make him some cookies.
Before any financing was discussed, he was telling me about how he grew up on mangoes and coconuts fresh off of the trees from his backyard. LUUUCKY. I love coconuts now, but I can't even begin to fathom how much MORE i'd love them fresh. Same goes for the mangoes.

At the end of our meeting, we've decided that before we do any outlines, I'm going to show him where I'm at right now with presentation, copyrights, labeling, packaging, etc etc. Also, cost of the product itself. That actually has been bothering me the most. I despise using cashews, and try to avoid eating them as much as possible. Same goes for peanuts and sprouted grains, since grains are too hard for me to digest. I'd actually rather just eat steamed quinoa with some olive oil and rosemary, with some flax crackers and lemon on the side... that was actually my dinner last saturday.

Onto Harvest Health.

I hate to say this about any place, but if you're EVER in the Palm Desert area and you're looking for good raw food, you're shit
out of luck if you intend on eating from their food counter. You'd be better off just getting some overpriced raw
snacks from the store portion of the building.
I was talking with the cashier behind the food counter about their raw selections, and he assured me, "oh, our chef
is very talented with raw foods, especially the new pizza we have on the menu."


I ordered the raw pizza and the raw nori rolls.

pizza- looked like somebody got lazy 20 seconds after starting it, so they decided to spread 1/2 T. of marinara
onto the dry, crusty ass buckwheat pizza crust, replace the cheese with two olives and a teaspoon of avocado,
and then pulled together enough energy to wipe it with their ass (hence the bland 'pesto')

nori rolls- actually pretty good... not very creative, but simple and tasty.
but please tell me why the pate reminded me of menudo? AWKWARD

I wish I had taken my camera with me so you could see the madness I speak of here, but we were going to
sneak into the hotel to go swimming, and I didn't want any water to wreck it.

Let me just say, I love Julianos. I love the obscene flamboyance of the food, and the picture of him and his sister
in bikinis at the beach next to the cash register.
That being said, my friend and I went there for lunch today... and here's what happened

(warning, it's pretty magical, so brace yourself)

(like, UNICORN magical)

(okay, maybe not THAT magical, but you know, still pretty rad)

Juliano's innards.
             The Spring Rolls
  The pizza that looked like somebody took a shit on my plate?
                             The savory puff and pasta samples he brought me because, you know, 
I'm awesome.
                                                                 The seaweed sample...

                                                                  The coffee cheesecake

Raspberry and Ginger juice sample?

Key Lime Pie sample

And lastly, his goji berry smoothie

The first time I ate at Juliano's Raw, I was only one month into raw. The second time was about 3 months into raw. And finally, today was the third obviously much longer time on raw. Everything tastes MUCH saltier then it did when I first ate there, along with the second time. I asked him about it, and he said that he intentionally makes his food saltier since the majority of his restaurant's cliental are NOT raw, and would complain of the food tasting blander then the shit, salty SAD they're accustomed to. That being said...

Here's my review of his food.
It's going to be a little biased, since he kept feeding me free samples of all his new stuff... and you know, anytime Juliano comes up to you with free food, you're going to eat that shit regardless of how full you already might be.

For an appetizer, we started off with the Spring Rolls shown above.
VERY sour and salty... the wrap itself anyways. The thai sauce was pretty good, but after the second spring roll, the tartness of the flax wrap started to bother me. I have a good hunch that there was a shit load of ACV in there..

Next, I had the Pesto Pizza. 
Really disappointing. The pizza I had at Cru owns this one. 
It was too salty (again) for me to eat. The veggies were doused in nama shoyu, and the crust was too hard. The cheese was meshed in with the marinara and melody of diced tomatoes and olives. I had about two bites, and then set it aside for the waitress to take away. To make matters worse, the slice was nearly $13, and literally the size the my palm. And FYI, I do not have man palms.

That's when Juliano came over and started talking to me and then showered me with awesome samples of his newer stuff.

While waiting for the coffee cheesecake, he brought out the pasta sample and 'savory cream puff' (as he called it). The pasta was REALLY fucking good. He affirmed my guess that it was mostly composed of carrageenan, parsley and garlic. The savory puff tasted like clam chowder, minus the clams, and erm.. chunks of
chowder. Very rich, but good as well. I'm glad he left it as a dipping sauce instead of a soup, since eating too much
of that could possible get really sickening.

After I finished off those two, he brought out his seaweed soup, which was a simple lemon miso based broth with
kombu, wakame, dulse and avocado (along with a chunk of heirloom tomato) soaking in it. I believe there were scallions
in there as well..

THEN the coffee cheesecake came out. After the first bite, I was having visions of being at work. Strong as shit
espresso taste. So strong that I felt like I was drinking coffee (it was literally that creamy in texture) rather then eating
something coffee flavored.

To cleanse my palate, he brought me out a ginger and raspberry juice. So good, and I'm not really that big a fan of

Finally, he brought out a key lime pie slice and goji smoothie. The key lime was really good, but could've used more of
a concentrated KEY lime taste, and maybe some honey to compliment the tartness. Other then those two things, it was

The smoothie was delicious, but gave me the shits 20 minutes after drinking it... or maybe it was
all the poor food combining I was doing. :(

All in all, it was a very good day, even though still to this moment, I can't breathe from eating too much.

To touch back on the business/restaurant front, my advisor (his name is Val) said minus the time for confidentiality and
copyrighting, I'll have things out in main steam markets across southern california in as little as two months. But that's only
if we decide to do marketing before investing in a location for a restaurant.

I'm so excited about the prospect of having my own place!
I figure, if I go bankrupt in the process, at least I would've tried right?

I can always do some hooking on the side too... you know, to raise funds for dehydrators and such.

vajayjay for a few excaliburs? Seems like a fair trade to me!


I also seem to attract old man attention (charles, if you're reading this, this does not pertain to you. By old man, I mean
exceeded the age of 45)

way creepy.

I can dig it though.