Tuesday, July 29, 2008


It's the oddest thing.
I've been craving soy of all kinds lately... soy milk, soy cheese, soy soy soy. I'll usually try to fill the void with nut or coconut milks, seed cheeses, blaaaah blah blah. It's just not the same though. Soy has such a distinctive flavor to it, that I really can't see duplicating it with OUT using the soy beans. 

Vegan junk food too, like the cheese pizza and burritos from this place I used to go to in Upland. SOOO GOOD. I guess those things couldn't really be classified as junk, since everything was organic and from their garden, along with them only using cold pressed oils (olive, palm, avocado, etc etc) in their cooking. My brother told me to just go out there and eat it just to get it over with... get it out of my system.. I would just be so disappointed in myself if I went out and did that sort of thing... I'm also not too sure if my stomach would be able to handle that sort of thing. I mean, in small amounts yes, but a whole meal? I'm very tempted to go and find out for myself.

And then what if I DO go out and have a cooked lunch? That may very well lead to many, MANY more cooked meals, since I tend to be an extremist in the respect to thinking either black or white on most things..

c'est la vie.

I'm trying to constantly remind myself that I'm probably only feeling this way since NOBODY I'm around on a day to day basis is raw, let alone vegan. The people at my work seem to think that THAT in itself is extreme enough. "April, the blended lemonade is vegan!" "um, it has cane juice, brown rice syrup, fructose, glucose, aspartame, red dye 1,2 and blue 3."



Give me some input if you're reading this right now.
Should I just go out and get it out of my system, or just keep it buried and let it eat away at me until I have enough cash money to blow on a 10 tray excalibur? 

I also must confess, that i've been oogling 'what the hell does a vegan eat anyways' 's blog. Damn it, so not helping.

Maybe the raw coconut cake i'm working on, and cookie trio will help me get over all this.

Friday, July 25, 2008

2 years

Short post today before I head out to work.

Just thought i'd share one of my future "plans". 
I'm giving myself TWO years to move out to the east coast and open a raw restaurant. If I fail and end up with massive debt, then at least I would've tried, right?
I figure two years will give me just enough time to get an edge on perfecting every dish I've made (both dessert, and non-dessert) so that when the time comes to organizing a menu plan, it'll be a no brainer, because everything will have been worked out, leaving me with surplus time to concoct more unorthodox and creative food with no real concept minus artistic expression. 

I'm not sure what type of restaurant it'll be, or even what it'll be named (i'm thinking the green:underground, partly named after one of my favorite bands...input?) I want my food to be, besides obviously delicious,  more importantly nostalgic and barrier crossing. I want it to take you back to when you were a kid licking the cookie dough out of the bowl (if you grew up in that sort of food environment, as I did), I want EVERYONE to be able to eat there, and agree upon it's taste. SAD eaters, raw foodies, high raw foodies, fruitarians, etc etc. I want there to be something agreeable for everybody, so that nobody is excluded, and everyone is able to eat and enjoy healthful food.

 Tomorrow I'm making lunch for my mom and myself. Nachos! I've been dehydrating lime zest tortilla chips all day, and keep checking up on them until the zest of the lime really comes through without overpowering the corn. I'm pretty stoked she agreed to let me make her lunch, even if she'll go outside and pop open a corona in an hour. That's not the point. It means a lot to me to be able to share SOMETHING in common with my mom, especially something that I'm really passionate about.

Anyways, time for work until midnight.


Friday, July 18, 2008

Problem 1, Solution 0

Three of my close friends birthdays are this month, and all three of them only want ONE thing... for the 'good old days' to make a comeback, and for me to get hammered through combination of jagermeister and straight vodka with them...more likely then not, resulting in obscene dancing and ludicrous sexual innuendos. Not that there's anything wrong with those two, it's just that when alcohol is involved, it tends to get more..erm..x-rated with strangers , if you catch my drift. Best to keep the nungas safely strapped into my shirt. 

The Raspberry Buttermilk Layer Cake

All nunga business aside, I don't drink anymore..and they KNOW this. I know that they know this...so why do I feel like such a complete douchbag macfaggins when I turn down the invite? 
I was talking to my cousin about this, and she could only suggest making new friends. 
New friends?
That's fine, but what about the old ones?
What about the times that Aubri and I were plastered and almost had a threesome with our two guy friends at our p.e. substitute teacher's house?
What about the time Laura and I went to incahoots completely wasted off of vodka that we had downed in the parking lot, and booty popped for 3 hours straight in heels?

Even though most of those memories seem completely fucked (yet, still hilarious), they're really special to me. So when they invite me to smoke out or drink at a party or a club, I can't. I can go, sure, but it's not the same. The awesomeness that would've been is replaced by silent awkwardness, filled with slurps of water on my part, and rum on theirs.

It's just so lonely, that sometimes I question whether or not a shot or two would REALLY make that big of a difference. Maybe not, but then it would become an expected behavior.. "well, you drank at my birthday, so come on pussy!"


I've also been having really demented nightmares lately, which i've decided to just let go, since dream interpretation is lost and pointless art.
One, involving the bananas in pajamas being eaten alive...internal organs spewing out and blood squirting every which way. 
Two, involving ballroom dancing with a corpse in a large red room.


Starbucks can suck a nut also.

Not really, the people that work there (for the most part) are actually genuinely nice.

I'm also SUPPPER stoked about the fact that I can now successfully imitate CAKE texture and taste.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

alone in a room full of people?

Things have been weird for me lately. It's hard to explain without sounding like the cheese has fallen completely off my cracker, if you know what I mean...which is more or less why I haven't been posting much lately. Just been feeling, alone. THAT, and because Starbucks has decided that i'm the best choice for the closing shift (i.e. leaving work past midnight). Compliment or insult? who knows, who cares. I'll probably fall asleep next to the pasty case sooner or later. OH. Saw HellBoy 2 today, not that i'd ever doubt Guillermo del Torro, and MAAAAN, that movie owned. I love selma blair. In fact, I think it's safe to say that i'd probably consider full on lesbianism if dating her were ever a possibility. Maybe natalie portman and nora jones too. 

Got some bomb ass cacao butter from Navitas FINNNNALLY, and ended up devirginizing the chunk of chocolate by making a white chocolate raspberry cheesecake, which I didn't bother to take a picture of since, well, it was just a cheesecake...not all that exciting. At least not compared to some other things that require more time and effort.

Here are some of the things i've been making lately, and just haven't bothered posting.

layered spice cake

layered spice cake sliceeee

the dutch apple pie with coconut ice cream

The apple pie was made for my neighbor's diabetic sister. Apparently, this is the new favorite of everyone.

 a few slices of the lemon were saved after our neighborhood has a fucking huge ass power outage. Needless to say, I was VERY pissed to come home to a half destroyed pie...but, it would've been worse had NOTHING been salvageable.. Pretty bombay, if I do say so myself.

you know what? I'm really not in the mood to write right now, so i'll just hook it up with a picture of my iguana on his little red leash before our walk around the park.