Friday, April 11, 2008

tapeworms snuck into my green drink..

Feel free to donate to the "April Needs New Piping Bags Fund" which will prevent me
from having to rely on toothpicks to decorate my desserts, such as this carrot cake. 
(they work just as well..just not so much on 'time' efficency front...haha...
stupid toothpicks.."


Yes, TAPEWORMS.
That's the only logical reasoning I can come to with my most recent "eating" frenzies...
actually, the word frenzy may very well be a BIG BIG BIG understatement..haha..more like human vacuum cleaner.

I've started lifting heavier weights when I work out, so i'm thinking that's the culprit..
otherwise i'm falling back on the parasite theory.

Here an example of a normal day for me:

7:00 am - green smoothie, complete with kale, mango, kiwi, and an apple. (also, a premixed 'super blend' with maca, bee pollen, etc)
9:30 am- a few fresh figs 
12:30 pm - large salad with some avacado, and then a slice of one of my desserts
3:00 pm - an apple
5:30 pm -  another large salad...or nori rolls if i'm not up to eathing


Now here's an example of what I like to refer to as "FAT ASS" days: (i.e. the past week or so)

7:00 am - green smoothie as listed above
9:30 am - figgggssss
12:30 pm - Now...here's where it gets messy, i STILL have my salad...but....shit...
the desserts usually include more then a slice...more like 2-3..HAH
3:00 pm - fig pecan cookies
5:30 pm - DESSSERRRRTSSSSSSSSSS

i'm not fat by any means...in fact, i've experimented enough with my diet intake to know exactly what will, and what will NOT = weight gain.
nuts? honestly..not so much
avacado? naw
coconut? nooope
tahini and sesame seeds? YEEEES
olive oil? YESSSSS

I can literally eat tons of fruit/nuts/veggies and stay the same...but you know, it's kind of annoying to be constantly hungry..and it's not that I CRAVE certain things...I just eat and eat and eat and eaaaat! hahaha

oh well. whatever...my ass needs to get bigger anyways, same on the boob front.
i'm like, negative zero in that department......concave boobage.

oh, on a positive note..I got 100% on my psych. exam...that I did NOT study for (woo).
so of course, I had to celebrate with dessert (because i'm a fat ass.)
haha

Also, if ANYONE knows ANYTHING about licensing and selling products to larger retail grocery stores (i.e. whole foods), hit me up. seriously. i'm already doing the Goodwin's thing...but I need to get into an area where people don't get scared off by the idea of eating something "vegan"...

"GASP, healthy?!! what is this foreign concept?!! wait...I think I MAY have seen it on a billboard on my way to Wendy's this afternoon.."


i'm getting impatient...and the longer this takes, the more appealing the moonlight bunny ranch is starting to look.

"hello, i'm april..and i'll be your escort for the evening.."
"excuse me?"
"...i'm going to ride you like a horse"
"oh, okay then!"


2 comments:

Lovingraw said...

I love your humor, your posts always bring a smile to my face. Thank you : )

April Nicole said...

well, i'm glad to hear...(erm...read)...that my nonsensical babble is doing some good somewhere. hah :]