Wednesday, March 5, 2008

all sweaty and shit.


It's hot.
It's TOO damn hot.
Raining like crazy last 
week (after I washed my fucking car too!) and now it's like, 80 something degrees outside. It's times like these that I wish I could just walk around                                  
naked without getting arrested or something. I mean, not too sound self-absorbed or anything, but I don't have any problems with the way that I look in the nude..and I don't think too many people (well, men) would have a problem with it either. I work out everyday for a reason damn it! Need to show off these abs of STEEL. haha. Okay, maybe not steel YET, but they're getting there...mmm yes...
New vogue came today, and let me tell you, they re-touched the SHIT out of Drew Barrymore. If you look closely at the picture here (as seen underneath the oatmeal raisin cookies I made, which i'll get to in a second) it, quite obviously, looks nothing like her. She's a good looking woman. I don't see why they insist on changing her to look like some waxy mannequin. Well, I lied, I KNOW why...but I mean come on, just fix the people that actually need work done on them.
Onto other things.
My friend's sister bought her oatmeal raisin girl scout cookies.
She's a high risk diabetic, so i'm thinking her sister is plotting to kill her...anyways, her sister, being as jacked up as she told her, "OHH, I bought you these girl scout cookies! I know how you LOVE these!" (what a bitch right?)
So my friend called me and apparently had been pacing back and forth between her room and the kitchen, trying to ignore the cookie voices lingering inside her head. My solution for her?
"well, I do just so happen to have some oats sprouting...so let me fix something up for you.."
"okay april, but remember..I like the real shit..so you know..if it tastes weird...don't get mad.."
Why do people ALWAYS say that?
"real shit"
OATS ARE REAL. NUTS ARE REAL. ETC ETC. 
IF IT WASN'T, IT OBVIOUSLY WOULD NOT EXIST!
ah. felt good to get that out...now back to the cookies..
So, I made a pit stop at Clark's (yeah, I practically live there..pretty sad that they all know me by name) and picked up some organic walnuts and raisins and cashews and etc etc..
Came home, pulled out the sprouts and BAM! there you have it. Freshly made oatmeal raisin cookies.
I'm pleased to announce that she was quite happy with them, and could not tell the difference between "the real shit" and "the fake shit" thank you very much.



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