Gaining 5lbs. overnight, thanks THANKSGIVING!

So Thanksgiving was pretty NICE.

No work, little cousin came over, obnoxiously oversized dinner, good laughs, and all the other fantastic bullshit that comes with celebrating Thanksgiving.

I spent a good week or two sprouting, dehydrating and experimenting with different mediums and marinades that could make for a proper turkey substitute. Last year's Thanksgiving was kind of lame food wise, so I wanted to really step it up this year. Mostly in part to wanting to show my extended family that a raw Thanksgiving won't be solely about a carrot carved into a drumstick.

Those assholes wanted to put me in charge of basting the turkey as well. What the fuck is that shit?!! Obviously, they must know how much I love slathering butter on dead animals.

Anywho, tomorrow is black friday (yay) and yes, I intend on being one of those people who wake up at the ass crack of dawn to celebrate Christmas materialism early. Hate me for it, I really don't give a shit, I'm a holiday whore and I have NO shame in admitting that!

I'm also bracing myself for the cookies that will soon follow as soon as mid-december hits.

THAT is going to be some crazy shit!

Here's my Thanksgiving dinner...I didn't really bother to take pictures of the family, since I spent most of my time in the kitchen (I get lazy with recording this shit sometimes).

Pumpkin Pie, Cranberry-Cherry Compote, and some marinated Butternut Squash

                   "Turkey", Mashed "Potatoes" with a Portobello Gravy, and Stuffing

The Cranberry Compote here with Rosemary

  Pumpkin Pie via the DEHYDRATOR! 

The most exciting part about experimenting with different mediums is finding new ways to do things to better suit those modifications. For example, I know many raw pie recipes call for refrigeration. BUT, what if you're craving a slice of WARMMM pumpkin pie? Stick it in the dehydrator, and that pie is shit outta luck, gettin all melty and nasty like. And granted that a LOT of entrees can be done in dehydrator, getting the right consistency without being overly reliant on fats to solidify it can prove difficult.

I'm happy to report that I used literally no more then 1/4c. of nuts in ALL of this (mostly because nut heavy dishes can turn expensive really quick).

Enjoy the pictures and look forward to more since finals week is coming up, and after that i'm on BREAK!!! (which means yes, more food making) :]

vegan cakes, not RAW RAW RAW, for once

"Nobody seems more obsessed by diet than our anti-materialistic, otherworldly, New Age spiritual types.  But if the material world is merely illusion, an honest guru should be as content with Budweiser and bratwurst as with raw carrot juice, tofu and seaweed slime."  ~Edward Abbey

So saturday was my manger's birthday at our store, and since everybody decided to more or less do their own thing for her, I picked something that I'm at least half way decent at. BAKING, chyaa. I was actually specifically instructed to "not make any healthy shit"...and that being a direct quote from at least 3 people I work with...fair enough I suppose, since making a cake of this proportion raw would cost me, um...a LOT. I love my manger, but really, not enough to blow over $50 for ONE cake. For serious.

The cake is vegan however, and shit, I haven't worked with any of the baking mediums for quite some time. I mean, now and AGAIN, i'll pull something out of my ass for my mom or whomever (both literally and figuratively, thank you), but it's really not something that I strive to perfect on a daily or ever weekly basis.

Inside of the vegan fondant, which let me just say, turned out surprisingly well, was a honey "buttermilk" cake with a strawberry rhubarb custard. Before I went vegan however long ago, I used to make my own fondant (way cheaper) for cakes, and it always came out tasting like..hm...playdough. This fondant however, courtesy of my cousin's taste tester skills, came out as he describes "TASTES LIKE YUMMMY!" I hope I wasn't wrong in assuming that this was a good thing, since he has a tendency to pick and eat his boogers when he's bored.

The top of the cake, the "whipped cream", was a vegan vanilla bean icing, finished off with some vegan sprinkles I found at the vitamin shoppe across the street from my work. The cake was modeled after our new holiday cups that were released on the 4th of this month. Starbuck's trying to get ahead of the game? A lot much, for real.

The logo with the siren was somehow smashed by my non-existent boobs, err.. chest plate, while attempting to create a brown "filling" that resembled coffee. It was promptly fixed once I uploaded these pictures and realized the sirens face was melting into her body

All in all, the cake took about 13 hours to finish... roughly the same amount of time a raw version would've taken me. Actually, I lied. A raw version would've been at LEAST a week with sprouting and all that other bullshit..so yeah..

Cute though, yes?? I think it came out pretty good anyways...and my manager loved it, so that was pretty bomb. (her actual response was "holy shit april, what the hell! this is fucking amazing!") yes yes, thank you!!!

On a much sadder note, my best friend is leaving the state to move in with her boyfriend of 6 years. I'm not going to talk about it too much because you know, it's more personal, but yeah.

Also, I've signed up for a scholorship that requires me to maintain straight A's on the Dean's list for the Natural Sciences Dept. That being the main reason why I been like a ghost on blogger, GI2MR, etc etc.

Forgive me!?

Thanksgivings gonna be the shizznit. I'm already planning out a whole menu of raw goodness. Both non-dessert and dessert (obviously) related.

Good stuff.

A Daring "Bakers" Challenge...

You know, I really miss making these dishes and the whole blogging thing every week. I'm trying to get back into the habit of "unbaking", but yeah..it just hasn't been working out. Ever since I switched my major to a double major (ND and French), and elected myself for a fin. aid that requires my GPA is stay above a 3.5, yeah...not happening. In between classes, work, homework and sleep..well, there just hasn't been much time for elaborate foods to be made. Such a shame.

Anywho, excuse my bitching, but I did find the time to make this pizza for October's Daring Bakers challenge. I DO bake, just not the food that I eat (as you know), so with their permission I created a raw pizza (despite it being spread out over a good week or so, with sprouting and whatnot). The pizza recipe supplied for the challenge was Peter Reinhart's "Pizza Napoletana" from his book, The Bread Baker's Apprentice. Lovely book, I must say, as it covers quite a bit of ground on deconstructing bread, from the raw grain to whichever way you choose to nuke the grain.

Back on to the pizza.
It turned out PRETTTTY bomb, but idk, I haven't tried too many GOOD raw pizzas, so yeah, aside from my own and the few available out yonder, i'm just going to assume that mine is the best.

Expensive as SHIIIT to make though, i'm not gonna lie..


The Daring Bakers blog that i'm on now (check it out, seriously, they've got some pretty talented people up on that business) asked for shots of "tossing" the dough...but..yeah...tried it, and for some reason raw pizza dough NOT made from flour just doesn't seem to want to be flipped...hence it exploding in my face after the first attempt, and then exploding everywhere else on the second. I should've taken a novelty shot, but I didn't really think to do it until literally just now.



Here are some other shots of the pizza




The pizza has a garlic and tarragon infused crust, which might I add, the son of a bitch took fucking 6 days to make. The sauce is an heirloom and plum tomato concoction, and the cheese is a combination of roughly 3 different types of nuts to play up the flavor a bit. I started off with maybe running with the idea of a margarita pizza, but then that morphed into a margarita/sun-dried tomato and chive type thing. Either way, it owned, and that's really all that matters.



Life has been interesting to say at the least. I haven't really been the happiest camper in the tent if you get my drift, and for some reason my ass has doubled in size over the last week. I don't mind it so much though, because booty is a good thing. Now just need to redistribute some of that goodness to the tah tahs and i'll be set.



Hope everyone is well.


Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and it's going to fucking OWNNN.
I'm making a massive raw feast, so look forward to that bitches.


also, I may or may not be making something in the spirit of halloweenie...so keep an eye out ;)

An Ode to Figs, a Newer Space, and Bomb Ass Lemon Ice Cream

It's always a pleasant surprise to come home and find either:

A. a coconut somebody bought for me, waiting to be mauled on the kitchen sink

B. a naked hot guy waiting for me on my bed smeared with raw whipped cream and bing cherries

C. a new issue of bon appetit magazine shoved into the mailbox

since nobody aside from myself really bothers to buy coconuts, 'a' doesn't really happen too often, and the last time a hot naked dude was sprawled out on my bed covered in raw goodness was about 16 hours ago when I was asleep. (actually, I didn't sleep very much last night, since booty popping to FAT techno beats replaced the ZZZZ's, so being able to recall ANY type of dream is beyond miraculous.)

So, yes, that would leave C.

Despite this magazine being hardly anywhere NEAR raw, the monthly food porn, I must admit, has me addicted.

It's also what lead me into finding (and becoming slightly obsessive over) Herme's stuff.

If I'm not mistaken, I'm thinking it was the March? issue that had a special on his Litchi and Rose Petal Ispahan inspired Frozen Yogurt. 

How anyone could NOT love Pierre's stuff is beyond me.

I'd molest that man in his sleep if I could.

I'd blow every staff member in his kitchen if it meant being able to have a chance to be trained by him (okay, I may be exaggerating slightly there.)

That's pure love baby. PURE love. Minus the, oh, thousand PLUS price tag for these babies.

The dessert front over here hasn't really been poppin off lately.

Mostly because I'm wrapped up in work and trying to get my shit together for school (which reminds me, I should probably be buying my books and parking ticket, oh, um..NOW?)

         The Fig and Lemon Anglaise Tartlet

Whenever fig season ends, it always depresses me. Seriously.

Fresh Kimi or Turkey Figs straight off the tree. Hot damn. Nothing quite hits the spot like them babies.

                                                              Lemoncello Ice Cream

Taking pictures of ice cream blows also.

I'll never be taking pictures of it again, but you know, I didn't have any ice cream pics up, and EVERYONE and their mom has at least one posted...so I needed to get me suma THAT!

The next dessert is going to be fucking crazy.

for real.

Chocolate Ganache Cake

I forgot to post this up.

smoothie addict: coke in a blender

Before you get pissed that i'm posting something without pictures of desserts that i've been lagging on making, let me JUST say this..

I just finished 5 days on smoothies and juices only, and shit, it really only made me realize how much I missed that sort of thing. The extra energy you save from not having to digest anything has really been coming in handy (leaving work at 1 am. has no longer become exhausting, though, I can't say it's solved anything in terms of my anger towards starbuck's underpaid slave labor). So the day I ended my non-solid business, I had the worst feeling in my stomach after eating a papaya salad for lunch... SHITTYYYY let me tell you. I was so fucking tired, that I considered sleeping off the food as gross as that sounds (I haven't done that shit since my teenage alcohol induced days).

I really REALLY want to go back on a smoothie fast again. Probably tomorrow?

This time, I'd like to go for 2 weeks.

Keep in mind, I'm sort of a fat ass with my smoothies... so my smoothies (though mostly green....okay...maybe at least 1/3 green) usually end up being at LEAST 48 oz. per smoothie..unless i'm making something more elaborate in terms of drinks... like maybe a chocolate lavender mint smoothie, or a cloverfield honey pina colada. MMM.

I'd like to go longer then 2 weeks, but one of two things is going to happen if I even TRY to do that:

1) my parents will think I have an eating disorder, and am thus trying to lose weight by doing this.

2) I'll go ape shit afterwards and nut binge (no pun intended...well, maybe just a little) and then get sick, swear off of nuts, and then go back into the fridge 2 hours later looking for brazils, get sick again, and then have my mom hovering over me "well, THIS is what you get! you screw your body up with this raw shit! you need meat on you! eat carnitas!"

SO..to avoid to the inevitably, I'm going to only mention that i'll be juicing it up again, leaving out the small 2 week detail. 

SHIT. I just remembered, i'm going to san diego at the end of this month..

hm...

i'll have to make a few exceptions for some raw goodies if I run across them..but other then THAT, i'll try to keep my meals as "mono-meal" friendly as possible, so I, again, don't get sick and end up in the bathroom for..erm..hours on end.. 

not that you really needed to know that, but the same shit happens to you, i'm sure, whenever you eat something that's not agreeable with your stomach. (or maybe not, maybe it's just me)

ALSO. 

best ever

http://www.earthsave.org/

I subscribed to their quarterly enews, and apparently i'll be getting a vegetarian times subscription out of it as well?

fuckin sweet!

I'm supposed to go wig shopping with my cousin in about 30 minutes... waiting on her lagging ass to call

wig shopping is uberly fun. everyone should do it at least once a month.

very therapeutic.

PS- after my smoothie kick, the desserts will be back. I PROMISE. I know you don't give a shit about the random shit that

goes down in my life sans raw.

PSS- jk. I hope not..that shit would suck... I'm more then desserts damn it!

PSSS- actually, my brother called me a nut magician for being able to do the things that I do with nuts

(not like that you perverts...he wouldn't know about those sorts of things..)

PSSSS- WIGGSSSSSSS!

Instant Gratification..

I love fat..

A LOT

In fact, to gain and now maintain my weight, I'll eat anywhere from 1/4c. nuts - 1c. of nuts a day, along with coconut, avocados, etc etc.

but, with that being said..I'm getting REALLY burned out on them. Time for a break?

AH..I think so

After work, I made a fresh green juice.. celery, parsley, cucumber, spinach, chard, wheatgrass.

YUUMM

Sometimes I get so caught up making desserts that I forget about how awesome a cold, fresh 16oz. glass of green can taste.

So, tomorrow I'm going to do juicing and smoothies only, and then see how long I can ride it out after the day's over..

 

That being said, here's what i've been up to..

Went to Palm Dessert..AGAIN... to go swimming and walk around downtown and whatnot..

My brother went out of his way to buy me a kookie karma, which I felt bad for since I really do NOT like their stuff. Cashews gross me out. They always taste rancid to me for some reason.

Not only that, but the 'lemon fig' cookie (or, kookie) tasted nothing like lemon OR figs. It was almost like a slap in the face to the taste of a fresh fig or lemon to even compare the cookie to such a thing.

Actually, I wanted to talk about this.

I don't EVER really buy other raw snacks/prepared foods partially because I always find them very disappointing and more often WAY overpriced. ($8 for a brownie? really? REALLY?) Come on now, I make this shit all the time, I'm well aware of how much it costs to make these things, and it does NOT cost that much..

greedy bastards!

And then I stop and think to myself that I need to get my ass in gear and start getting my stuff into the mainstream..

Only because it genuinely bothers me that people out there are settling for shit. Sorry if that sounds mean, but it's true.

OH OH.

So I finally tried the chocolate fudge cake from Cru, since they now sell it in the market near my house..

BLLLLALAHDKAJHDDA!

I love chocolate. really. 

But when I can't get my fucking fork through the "cake"... yeah... it's no longer a "cake".

more like a massive chocolate bar.

The first bite was good, the second, alright, and after that I threw it away since it was making me nauseous. 

So far, the only prepared raw foods that I can say something nice about, would be Leaf's stuff. Not too expensive, not too nut heavy, and still pretty good. Actually, I bought their brownie last week on sale for $3 since I get too lazy to make my own stuff sometimes.. 

ALSO, got this baby for $2. SCOOOORE!

It tasted better then it looks.

Man, nothing beats fresh dragonfruit... except for maybe fresh celeste and king figs, and then maybe rambutan and mangosteen.. but yeah... after all those, dragon fruit OOOOOWNS.

Anywho, after my juicing/smoothie fling, I plan on making an opera amaretto cake..

so I guess doing greens for awhile will be another plus, since this'll give me time to draw out the design and structure of the cake.. get things 'ready' if you know what I mean ;]

well, iron chef is on, and I need to call work to make sure nobody hustled my ipod that I accidently left behind this morning. (I'm fully convinced that half the people I work with do NOT like me since i've openly stated that I am not a christian or catholic) Seriously, some of those bitches (yes, I can and WILL call them bitches) have hidden my shit way too many times 

"oops! sorry april! I thought you'd be able to find it!"

... underneath an espresso machine?

why the FUCK would I think look for my cell phone underneath an espresso machine when my stuff is in the complete opposite end of the building?!!

gah. enough complaining. I don't want to sound whiney. 

I LOVE WHEATGRASS AND AMERICAN GINSENG. WOOO!

:}